A very good friend recently passed away. His wife who is also a very good friend asked if my husband wanted to say something at his memorial. My husband said he couldn’t but I said I would.
We have all been friends since meeting in college, some 40 years ago!
In fact they were our witnesses when we married at the courthouse in the college town where we all met.
So how do I sum up all these years of friendship?
How do I be brief but convey the love we felt while he was alive, the grief and loss we feel now and the memories we hold dear in our hearts?
We have known their children since they were born. We spent camping long weekends together for decades. Thanksgiving was a favorite Holiday we spent together. All the kids, now in their 20’s and 30’s have heard our stories so often they could tell them.
I knew the story I wanted to tell that captured the relationship of my husband and his best friend. Here is a part of the few words I prepared:
“Terry as many of you know was a world-class worrier. While camping he would worry the fire all evening. He worried over the whereabouts of the kids, and or the dogs. While cooking, he would say you need to worry the gravy or don’t worry the gravy all the while he was worrying and the rest of us were laughing as seen in the pictures.
Here is a story that is not from the well-told story library but from the memory vault. When Shelby told Terry that he was marrying me, Terry didn’t think it was a good idea because we were very different from each other. When I first heard this I was mad and my feelings were a bit hurt. But then I realized he was looking out for his friend’s best interest and just worrying about his friend.
Fast-forward 38 years to this winter. We visited Terry at OHSU the day after his second brain surgery. Terry asked Shelby how a biopsy went that Shelby had done. He was again worried about his friend.
Terry was a part of our youth, a part of our lives and a part of our hearts. The worries that he carried for us are now ours alone. ”
Have you written a few words for a friend or relative who passed? Did you find it a difficult task?