I blame Naked and Scared the TV reality show for encouraging people to go au natural in the woods.
Here in Portland there is a naked bike ride. Everyone knows about it and if you don’t want to be sitting out enjoying an espresso while a pack of naked bicyclists ride past; you just don’t go near the route. Hiking on a trail is another story; there are no warnings, no advance publicity, just encounters!
Picture a lovely day and you and a friend set out on a hike to a waterfall. It is a trail you have done before with a relatively steep elevation climb rewarded by great vistas and the waterfall. The trail is wide enough for 2 people but if others are descending or want to pass, you must step single file to the side of the trail and wait.
Here are my reasons for not wanting to share the trail with naked hikers:
- I do not want to watch some guy’s butt ahead of me on a climb or descend.
- I do not want to move over on the trail to wait as I watch but try not to stare at naked people coming down or going up the trail.
- I do not want to look at the naked hikers’ tan lines.
- I do not want to look at the naked hikers’ genitals.
- I do not want to look at the naked hikers’ breasts.
- I don’t want to climb up a switch back to be startled by naked hikers sitting on a tree stump taking a break.
- I don’t want to come upon a naked hiker standing and waiting at the side of the trail for his or her friend. Can you say ‘CREEPY”!
- I don’t want to follow some girl’s butt ahead of me on a climb or descend.
- I don’t want to look at naked hikers at all but in such close proximity it is impossible!
- I just don’t get it, and I don’t want to get it. With poison ivy, scratchy limbs and sun why go naked? They all wear shoes, packs and often hats so would a pair of shorts and a sports bra be too much to ask?
Have you encountered this new naked rage of hiking this summer? Do you think there should be signs and designated trails like at nude beaches for nude hiking? What would you do? Please note this blog has only a picture I scanned from the Oregonian newspaper of the Naked Bike Ride. No pictures of naked hikers were taken for this post!