Picking out the music for your funeral or your ‘celebration of life’ is all the rage! Sharing with a friend what I read about popular songs for the ‘occasion’, and found that “Ain’t no Sunshine when she’s gone” is very popular with women. My friend told me she just went to a memorial with that music and the recently departed happened to be far from a ray of sunshine!
I will point out the obvious; this woman was only sunshine in her own mind!
The dying will plan every detail from songs to food to color of flowers, venue and date! Family is supposed to go along and honor those wishes. Sometimes it is a blessing and sometimes it is not.
There is nothing to do but not laugh or do smile when the songs supposed to embody the essence of the deceased play on and on as a theme song.
I purpose songs that the person liked, favorites, are better than personal anthems!
At a memorial, allowing time for people to speak at will I think is a bad idea.
I have been to funerals, memorials and celebrations of life, where there are so many people wanting to yammer on it resembles a drinking game.
I have heard of others that are unbelievably embarrassing. A good friend said the wife of a close work friend of hers died and the hospice nurse got up to speak. She mentioned how the dearly departed and she bonded over the topic of both their husbands’ impotency!
When a friend of mine was dying she set up her ‘I am Dead Party’. Cross or annoy her and she would say, ”I will take you off the invitation list”. It gave her some fun in her last weeks of life planning her ‘I am Dead Party’. It turned out to be a really lovely affair.
So my take-away is:
Be sure you are ‘The Sunshine” or mean it as a joke when planning the music when you are dead.
Don’t allow everyone and anyone to get up and say something.
What about you? Can you add some do’s and don’ts?
Photo by Jakob Owens