Just when I thought I had heard it all, all the insensitive rude questions when I was going through cancer, I heard this one. I bumped into an old acquaintance who asked about my parents. I told her my Father had passed away and my Mother was in the final stages of dementia. That’s when she said it; “Do you think this will happen to you?” WTF??
I gave her the benefit of the doubt and asked her to clarify what she was talking about. Did I think I would die or? Yes, my first thought was correct. She was asking if I thought I would get dementia. Who asks that if not a TOOL?
When I went through breast cancer, some people, TOOLS, questioned me about my lifestyle. Somehow I brought on breast cancer by doing something. I realized they were just trying to distant themselves from a disease that can strike any woman and they were TOOLS after all!
The dementia question threw me. Usually people express condolences when I tell them about my Mother. Of course those people are not TOOLS!
But her question got me to thinking. Do people really think I am a dementia person walking? Are they ready to dismiss what I say because my Mother has dementia and I may be afflicted in the early stages? I think TOOLS do. The question is the perfect tool for TOOLS!
I told the person my Mother was fine until she turned 90. That is 90 years OLD!
There is a fine line in balancing aging. None of us want to outlive our mind or our body. My Mother is the perfect example of outliving her mind. Her body is in great shape. She never smoked or drank and she exercised. It got her to the ripe old age of 90 before one of the worst diseases in the world took hold.
So what did I say to this woman? I did not take the high road. Among other things I did call her a TOOL. I don’t think she has ever met someone with dementia. If she has then she is a meaner TOOL than I thought!
Have you come across this question? What about TOOLS you meet, how do you react?