August brings many weddings. As a woman in her 40’s, 50’s and 60’s you may have several invitations from friends and friends’ children. The questions arrive, “How many marriages, after the FIRST do I have to buy a gift for, and do I have to attend?” “What if I don’t go, am I off the hook for a present?”
Of course everyone wishes the best for everyone. What if it is only the second or third marriage in let’s say three decades, is a gift really necessary if the invitation does not state ‘no gifts’ if you have already attended one or more wedding for this person?
Then what about the destination wedding? Take your vacation time and money to share in the ceremony at a favorite spot of the newlyweds, most likely some place exotic. If you don’t make it to the destination, there usually is another reception for everyone who did not attend. Do you have to go to both? Is that 2 Gifts?
I have a friend who does not send a gift until after a year of marriage. She has been burned too many times with the marriage being called off or ending in months. She does not differentiate between the first and the sixth wedding; everyone gets a gift after a year unless they state ‘no gifts’. This same generous person draws the line to donations in the happy couple’s name to their designated charity. She has her own favorite charities that she gives donations and that’s where her gift in the happy couple’s name goes.
This August I have a wedding for a friend. It is her fourth wedding. She doesn’t count one because it was over in months, but I was there, and to the bridal shower too! I tried to reason with her, pleading that she doesn’t need gifts. Her answer like many brides and grooms is that it is a fresh start with this person to their new life together. She sold her house, he sold his, and together they bought a new home that they are just setting up, blah, blah, blah. I know I sound cynical, but we all would like new towels and kitchen ware every decade, but make your friends buy them for you again!
This August I have a wedding for a friend’s son. It is his second, but the bride’s first, so of course gifts are expected. This same friend is making a 60th wedding anniversary party for her parents the same week-end. They are moving into a retirement community. The invitation did not say ‘No Gifts”. I like this friend, I like her son and I like her parents. I have known them for over 25 years and wish them all well. It is going to be an expensive August.
What are your thoughts on the Wedding Season?????? Send Help, Send Ideas, Please!